More like the hall of LAME, right guys? Right? guys…?
I may be the only person under the age of a billion who finds the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions remotely interesting, but for some reason I do. The show on VH1 generally has some decent performances (although, more so when they were going through their Zeppelin/Neil Young/Janis Joplin all in the same year phase). Also, it creates an excuse to have arguments about something that is completely subjective. Fun!
Here are the nominees for the class of ‘07 (or class of ‘82, depending on how you look at it), accompanied by a display of my awesome handicapping abilities:
Madonna (IN. Amazing how far you can get in life with a synthsizer and a mistrust of clothing.)
Beastie Boys (Got arrested at the Mardis Gras for jumpin’ on a float. My man MCA’s got a beard like a billy goat. IN.)
The Dave Clark Five (Really? All five of them? I have to plead ignorance on this one…)
Leonard Cohen (IN, because you get the Street Cred merit badge taken off of your Over-40 Music-Industry-Hipster-Person-Rock-Voter sash if you say you don’t like him. See also: Patti Smith.)
Afrika Bambaataa (OUT. Great name, awesome costumes, but ultimately this feels like the HoF just saying “See? We like rap!” and they already did that with Grandmaster Flash last year. If they let Afrika Bambaataa in now, they have to let Kool Moe Dee in in like 4 years, and no one wants that. Just kidding, I like Kool Moe Dee, I just wanted to have the first RTP KMD reference. Plus, he might be reading this like Jill Sobule and come find me.)
John Mellencamp (Oh man…IN, I guess. Mostly because “IN” is the abbreviation for “Indiana”. Did you know John Mellencamp is from Indiana? Little known fact. I’m going to take up a collection now to bribe him to play “Hurts So Good” or “Authority Song” instead of that horrendous Chevy commercial song that I hear twice a day every day.)
The Ventures (I actually like every Ventures song I’ve heard in my life. Both of them. OUT.)
Donna Summer (That’s tough. She’s the Queen of Disco, but that’s sort of like being the Prime Minister of the Ottoman Empire at this point. IN?)
Chic (Nile Rodgers deserves to be in for his work as a producer alone, but will they split the disco vote with Donna Summer? YES. OUT.)
In the last few years the voters finally got around to inducting AC/DC and Black Sabbath after making them wait a few years for no good reason, but the anti-metal trend continues this year with the omission of Metallica from the nominee list. The message here: one-hit wonder doo wop groups from the ’50s- IN. The biggest metal band in the history of black jeans- OUT. Satan is gonna be so pissed…
Also eligible but left off the list: Def Leppard, Janet Jackson, Michael McDonald, Alice Cooper, Lionel Ritchie, Heart, Duran Duran, Pat Benatar, Rush, Genesis.
I have to believe that Janet, Duran x2, and Genesis will get a look in the future. Rush deserves it, but I think prog rock is kind of being stricken from the HoF’s records (which, let’s face it, is not necessarily a horrible decision.)
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